My site is called minishorts because 'shorts' rhymes a little with 'Thots' which is supposed to be spelled 'thoughts', but I thought it looked nicer spelt the way it is now. "Mini" seems to fit the phrase pretty cool so that's why it has stuck and I'm realy quite satisfied with the domain.
Somebody was not satisfied about it though. My huge bear, whose name is Ben, spoke to me this morning and he told me that he doesn't like the idea of me fiddling with a site called 'minishorts' and writing all my rambled day-(or night) stories in it. Ben said if all I wrote were fiction it would be quite okay and he doesn't mind. Lately I've been turning this site into my diary and I really do jot down what has happened in my life... those insignificant stuff - I told Ben this... and Ben says its still non-fiction which is quite unhealthy because you never know what lurks behind those mice-pointers on other people's computers. Ben is really a bear, BTW... his pic is on
one of my previous entries and I've begun to bring him to bed with me and at night when everyone is asleep I start to talk to him in our own secret language. I talk, he doesn't he just looks at mean with those huge embroidered eyes and I just imagine he talks to me. It gets lonely these days because Pek Yong is studying for his final examinations (first week of January) and he doesn't want to talk to me or find out how I'm coping. I'm not coping well which is why I'm talking to Ben and not writing that regularly in my blog.
I'm beginning to get a little confused between reality and dis-reality (is there such a thing as 'dis-reality'? Yes I coined the term). I think that's why I'm beginning to speak to my bears. I used to have a bear called Brownie when I was a little girl and life got so lonely that he became my one and only friend. My aunt saw me speaking to Brownie and that was the time when she and Ma decided it was time I get to know more people... so I went to preschool at the age of 3 1/2... kinda early....
Now that I'm in a relationship I know I'm drifting further and further away from my friends. Especially now that AIESEC has come to a standstill in my life (NLDS was my final project) and I'm working on the lonely research project (only 2 kids outta the 180 of my intake are doing the research and the other girl is doing a Discourse Analysis paper while I'm doing proficiency rates), and my old friends are either working or dating or have other new friends... I just have my mother and my boyfriend. My mother is kinda moody and these days... my boyfriend doesn't seem to care that much about me as he does about his stupid final papers. So when he leaves for Seremban next March I'll be ALONE IN THIS WIDE WORLD and dying of that thirst... I miss my FRIENDS...... I know they will come back but I can't count on them forever... and unlike long long time ago I'm not making new friends anymore....
Ben told me I need to take some anti-depression pills.
