You know things are bad when you have a 'weird' fight with your boyfriend at 1 am in the morning and you wake up at 10 am not knowing what the hell actually happened the night before; and the horrid realisation that things are bad, very bad. And when things get as bad as they are now, you really don't know what to do except spend as much doing things that'll make you forget the the problem. Very bad way to end a Sunday, an otherwise super week, but you can't force-help certain things, and fights really can't be predicted and avoided eh?
For the uninitiated, I've been told that I'm inconsiderate and uncaring. In light of what we all know is the med-school exams. I've been a bitch and bugging the guy for all the wrong reasons at his 'moment of reckoning' and he's using his oh-so-important exams as a bloody excuse to hurl horrid insults at me. I think it started a bit after the NY's buffet at Sunway. NY was cool, everything was cool (did I mention I foot the bill for him??) but the days after were really teruk. First I had to miss that meet with friends. Then I caught a whiff of no-take-bath PY and expressed my discomfort at the smell only be to met by 'You need to change your nose. Its stupid and useless.' And then when I said I wanted to meet OUR friends at SS2 mamak at 11 pm I was confronted by 'so late don't drive out, you know I'll be worried about you... what for you go out with them. Not like you're close to them also.'
When last straws attack, you hit the sack and start to burst. I exploded. I just went hellish. Looky here I'm not the one taking the bloody high-class medical school exam but doesn't mean I'm a stupid and useless. Neither does being in such a dignified position among the rest of the student population allows a person to act as if he's the King of the World and everyone else must wash the dishes and bring him his dinner. Its fucking crap and we all know it. So you deserve a little privacy but doesn't mean you can piss off your girlfriend and make the job of caring hers only.
This SS2 mamak thingy just pisses me off even more. The hell with his friends and my friends. Ever since we started dating I've slowed down in the friendship department with my own friends for the sake of this relationship, while common friendly meets were 90% attended by him. The remaining 10% in which I had a chance to attended had me reduced to merely an accompaniment for the sake of his bursting ego.
And then you know you're fighting that losing battle when deep inside you're worried sick about how this stupid fight will affect his performance in the exams. At the same time you need to remain ahead in the relationship keeps you standing straight and unwitting to hand in the towel and throw your arms around the fella and tell him you're sorry because inside you're hurting too much for a lack of respect and care that you really crave and want. But you know how horrid it is when at this very moment, you know exactly what goes on in his mind: "What kind of a girlfriend does things like this?"
Do I have the right to say what kind of a boyfriend does things like this to his girlfriend?
