Dear Minishorts:
His intentions are obvious and from your words, I can see that you yourself know what they are. You know that it is over but you are clinging on to the past and the memories. Somehow, you keep telling yourself to have faith and believe in love, even though his actions have proved the opposite. You have managed to wrap yourself in this cocoon of protection and chosen to ignore the signals, or rather, non-signals that he has been sending out so far.
From the way you describe it, it is obvious that he does not want to give you any ideas or hope. That is why he chooses not to respond to your SMSes. He doesn't call you out of his own initiative but he talks in quite a civil manner to you on the phone because he probably thinks its harmless. He sees no harm in continueing a friendship with you. And a friendship is all that he wants.
You know this yourself and you know that this is not be going anywhere. You know this and you may have discussed this with people you trust seeking answers or comfort from their wisdom which you already possess yourself. From your words it spills over that you are aware of reality. You are not denying it but it is obvious your love and hopes for what you want to come true is so strong that you are unable to move from it. And no, its not that you are not moving on either. You are, but the feelings and emotions you have are so strong that you still cling on to the memories and the possible hope of a future.
Some people may be happy and satisfied to continue like this. Eventually your friends may tire of this and look upon you as a girl blinded by love. And I think you are aware of this. You are sad and sorrowful and this is why you seek the help of therapists and columnists. They will tell you the same thing your friends have told you, but you will still remain the same.
You are aware that the world may eventually label you as a fool for clinging on to something that will very likely never respond. But some people are able to accept a life and future living like this. These are the ones who are able to live in their own world, uncaring of what other people will say So far you think you are one of those people, or maybe you even want to be one of those people, but it scares you and you are unable to decide, perhaps because you are so young and you are afraid of what the world thinks.
But I think you know that you have probably set your mind, and no amount of advice or words of comfort will be able to change you. If you do decide to change your opinions, it will not be because of what other people say, but mostly because of what you decide for yourself. I can see that your self-acquired wisdom is sufficient and you really do not need frequent advices and opinions, because all you are looking for in them, when you go for help, is not 'What to do?' but rather, 'Will you listen because I'm getting tired?' And thus, since you have not been discourage by the lack of encouragement and hope from the one you crave it most from, no further words of solid common sense will shake you. And I think you realise all this already.
Good luck.
-Ms. Agony Aunt-
