Saturday, August 16
TRACING HISTORY
As my blogging 1st year anniversary gets closer, I thought I wanted to trace a little bit of the history. Well, a few months ago I guess clicking on the previous posts where I was still 1 part of a 'healthy' couple would hurt too much, but now since I'm better... tracing history has become kinda fun... and sorta made me realise several things. In particular, reading the 100 things about me posts: #1-#20, #21-#40, #41-#60,#61-#80and #81-#100 that I wrote way, way back in October near my birthday then, well, I guess I finally gained enlightenment in some ways.
A line from the 100 things about me lists opened my eyes:
72. I cry a lot. My boyfriend says I'm a faulty water tap. He says he doesn't know how to fix me.
Scary huh?
You know, after he left me, as in, after I finally got a grip of myself, that's like 2-3 months or so after the break, I finally stopped crying. And right now, I wouldn't cry if you made me. Even with the ordeal on Tuesday, Minishorts could not cry, because there's no need to cry.
I really wonder, was I happy with him?
See, now I know what I want. I want someone who will actually accept me for who I am. Take me for my idiosyncracies and my silly blogging habits! This crazy penchant for Hello Kitty and this horrid tendency to behave partly Chinese educated - partly Western educated and this horrid tendency to get nit-picky about grammar and structures when confronted with formal texts written for formal domains. Someone who can 'tahan' my sometimes what hokkien people would call 'ai bin' (literally, 'want face') attitude - since I was born in Singapore, I also want someone who can accept that I'm naturally kiasu. Somebody who knows how horridly messy and clumsy I am, forgetful and sometimes disgusting (I sometimes dig my nose in public if I think no one is looking) habits... the morning sinuses and the urge to go take a bath everytime I feel sticky. Someone who can take it if I go say that 'URGH you smell,' toss a towel at him and send him into the bath, several times until I'm happy that he's sweet smelling (see I like clean, clean people even though I'm not very clean myself). Someone who can take it if I'm right most of the time, or if I'm wrong, someone who can tell me cutely... I want someone practical, not someone who comes near to me and uses 'baby talk' to try to make me happy or call me silly names in front of people, or do weird, possessive 'She's my girl' signals to friends and family in public.
Demanding, eh?
OK. Cut the crap. I want this: someone who makes me laugh and makes me happy, who will never make me cry.
Had a chat with a good friend today. He was telling me to get out and date some people. I told him that I wasn't looking, is that fine. He said to remember that I was already 22. And remember about 'long term' investments. Apparently a female colleague of his told him about genetically programmed mindsets of males and females. That its okay to be a 40-ish guy without a girlfriend, but its not okay to be a 32 year old woman without a partner. If Minishorts is doomed to be single the rest of her life, would 'doomed' be the right word?
Who wants to date Minishorts?
If you're nice I might consider ya, but remember what I said: I'm not looking!
As my blogging 1st year anniversary gets closer, I thought I wanted to trace a little bit of the history. Well, a few months ago I guess clicking on the previous posts where I was still 1 part of a 'healthy' couple would hurt too much, but now since I'm better... tracing history has become kinda fun... and sorta made me realise several things. In particular, reading the 100 things about me posts: #1-#20, #21-#40, #41-#60,#61-#80and #81-#100 that I wrote way, way back in October near my birthday then, well, I guess I finally gained enlightenment in some ways.
A line from the 100 things about me lists opened my eyes:
72. I cry a lot. My boyfriend says I'm a faulty water tap. He says he doesn't know how to fix me.
Scary huh?
You know, after he left me, as in, after I finally got a grip of myself, that's like 2-3 months or so after the break, I finally stopped crying. And right now, I wouldn't cry if you made me. Even with the ordeal on Tuesday, Minishorts could not cry, because there's no need to cry.
I really wonder, was I happy with him?
See, now I know what I want. I want someone who will actually accept me for who I am. Take me for my idiosyncracies and my silly blogging habits! This crazy penchant for Hello Kitty and this horrid tendency to behave partly Chinese educated - partly Western educated and this horrid tendency to get nit-picky about grammar and structures when confronted with formal texts written for formal domains. Someone who can 'tahan' my sometimes what hokkien people would call 'ai bin' (literally, 'want face') attitude - since I was born in Singapore, I also want someone who can accept that I'm naturally kiasu. Somebody who knows how horridly messy and clumsy I am, forgetful and sometimes disgusting (I sometimes dig my nose in public if I think no one is looking) habits... the morning sinuses and the urge to go take a bath everytime I feel sticky. Someone who can take it if I go say that 'URGH you smell,' toss a towel at him and send him into the bath, several times until I'm happy that he's sweet smelling (see I like clean, clean people even though I'm not very clean myself). Someone who can take it if I'm right most of the time, or if I'm wrong, someone who can tell me cutely... I want someone practical, not someone who comes near to me and uses 'baby talk' to try to make me happy or call me silly names in front of people, or do weird, possessive 'She's my girl' signals to friends and family in public.
Demanding, eh?
OK. Cut the crap. I want this: someone who makes me laugh and makes me happy, who will never make me cry.
Had a chat with a good friend today. He was telling me to get out and date some people. I told him that I wasn't looking, is that fine. He said to remember that I was already 22. And remember about 'long term' investments. Apparently a female colleague of his told him about genetically programmed mindsets of males and females. That its okay to be a 40-ish guy without a girlfriend, but its not okay to be a 32 year old woman without a partner. If Minishorts is doomed to be single the rest of her life, would 'doomed' be the right word?
Who wants to date Minishorts?
If you're nice I might consider ya, but remember what I said: I'm not looking!
