Here's Another Incoherent Post
A while ago a friend mentioned something about how Chinese mothers don't like their daughters dating men with longer hair. I remembered how I agreed 100 per cent with her, how I used to slightly smile, how I had that great feeling of internal victory you get as that little rebel within you cheers whenever old-fashioned friends remark casually, 'Eh he's got long hair!' And then she was saying that a sign that your man was really in love with you would be when he changes drastically to fit you. 'Who knows, he might even cut his hair to make you happy!' That particular friend had said.
My perceptions on both parties changing for each other are now a far cry from what I used to think before I broke up with my last boyfriend. So have my views on love. Oh yes, I was really idealistic, very optimistic... Of course it never did help that my closer friends at that time shared those same thoughts (most of them are still single now...) Maybe we were brought up with the opinion you've got to have standards, and if you can't really acquire those standards, you make do with what you have,
and then try to move that person 'you love' slowly into models that are more akin to them standards that you had. No compromise.
Not to say that change in a person does not occur... but instead of modifying a simple A into the
A that you really want, you find that you're never easily satisfied. After you've achieve point 1, you want point 1a, and then point 1b, and then more... Maybe both me and my ex were trying too hard to move ourselves into the models that we have each set up for each other... I wanted him to become the ideal person that I would marry, he wanted me to behave like the ideal trophy wife. So we changed, but in the end we couldn't take not being ourselves anymore... and we broke apart. Now we're not even acknowledging each other's existence. I mean.
He's not acknowledging my existence. You all know I acknowledge his.
The point is, if you're going to say that when you fall in love, you will unconsciously change for the other person, but let's be honest here, how much are you really willing to change? How much will you be aware of changes or be unaware of them? And then how much as you willing to admit that you're actually conscious of those changes?
Now back to my bf's shorter hair. Ever since my bf cut his hair, I've been trying very hard to get used to that new image of his. He looks almost 6 years younger now. On the day he cut it, I sat into the passenger seat and stared at him.
It was almost like dating a different person! Okay, so I'm
slightly or maybe,
very bothered by his new look. All of a sudden I feel years older. Maybe that's why I'm becoming more and more child-like in the office. I don't know. I like it more when it was longer. Oh boy, I'll just have to get used to it I guess, although he consoles me saying that it'll take a month to grow again...
