Don't Give A Damn
You won't want to believe it, or maybe you want to speculate, but you know that this is me, bare, stark naked, well, almost. You can't see the images, you may be able to visualize, but here am I, before your very eyes. You ought to trust because, I'm honestly, honestly, myself, all over again. The words flush over me like the gushing rush of a waterfall, and I feel the heat building up within myself as the skin and surface of everything else is cooled.
You squint your eyes because you don't understand. But can't you see? Don't you understand what this is all about?
None of it is meant to be open, none of it is meant to be dissected. You are required to fantasize, between the lines, you imagine yourself part of her, yet you are but a figment of what is real to this person, this strange being that seems to grow suddenly open yet suddenly closes her petals right before your very eyes.
Just as you thought you knew her, she shys away from the spectrum of light, no, no not into the darkness... just into obscurity. No she's not being difficult, can't you see, can't you see. She's just sorting out what's happening in her life.
All because of a troubling dream.
Ah, that troubling dream, of him, him, him and him, in a bar, where he calls her
baby, tells her he misses her and refers to himself as
papa, but in a previous life, not too long ago, I thought we shared a bed, we share something much more precious than that?
I see it now, I see it clear right before me, I willingly admit it, yes it was fear, more of fear, more of embarassment, those tears that ran and ran like they never wanted to end... I listen to the music playing on the stereo and I weep, two streams forming down the apples of my cheek and I remember the hatred I felt for my weakness, and how now, she's proud because she's acquired some degree or recognition, but last night, she saw it, crystal and clear, it's all spelt out. No, that wasn't admiration, that wasn't love, that wasn't soulmate-ship. That merely was, something. But she feared.
She wakes up, a floppy blue mongrel smiling his beady eyes at her, she gives it a hug and smiles at the pretty world.
Darling, aren't you pretty today? Where's your master? Oh but I miss him. Oh but I wish he weren't such a busy boy. Oh but I wish he weren't so bothered about the serious discussions we have. Don't you see, I'm just trying to sort things out, but why do you think I'm picking a fight? I really am not. Honestly, honestly, I'm being me.
Honey, you know me, I know you, but the rest of the world doesn't know the either of us, so ignore their prying eyes. Let's not give a damn. But shhh... you, you, don't say a thing, don't speak a word, you'll just disturb the peace. I think there's peace for now, so give her that much, don't give a damn.
