Lost
Not knowing, what to do, what to write. Sometimes I stare at the blank space that makes up my Notepad and get nothing at all. Times like that I trust that it's the curse of my career, that the more I become nit-picky on the work that I receive, the worse I become at my own artistic credibility. I sense that I've begun to lose it when most of the time all I do is check on teaching points and teaching techniques. I'm settling down finally, and the weight of what I'm going to do for a good part of my entire life as an independant, career woman has just fallen upon me.
Actually, I sense that that heavy burden fell upon me the moment I left school... too naive to admit it I guess.
Well I'm not too naive to question the point of all this crap studying and working. See you study very hard, to get good grades so that you can get into university. At university you study very hard, to get good grades, so that you can graduate with good grades and after which you can get a good job. With a good job... well... with a good job... well... you work work work work work work work so that you earn some stupid meagre sum that they call a salary so that you can pay for your own bills and bills and bills and FOOD!!! So that in the end you live a presumably comfortable life, wear nice clothes, have a nice family car, own some property perhaps and then when you die (regardless of how)... you get a good spot in the ground. Wait, this is deja vu because I spoke of this before.
Oh well. You know where I am. Lost.
